John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
This is my favorite story ever and I will reblog it every time I see it.
if you try to tell me cold doesnt have a smell you’re wrong
when its really cold you can literally smell how cold it is
OH MY GOD.
I TELL PEOPLE THAT IT SMELLS “SHARP” WHEN IT’S COLD AND PEOPLE THINK I’M FUCKING INSANE.
COLD SMELLS THE SAME WAY SOME METALS SMELL
Rain smells round, cold smells sharp, and spring in general smells curly.
and heat smells fat and heavy
Senegal, Mauritania, Mali, Burkina Faso, Niger, Nigeria, Chad, Sudan, Eritrea, Ethiopia, and Djibouti. Those are the countries. It will be drought-resistant species, mostly acacias. And this is a fucking brilliant idea you have no idea oh my Christ
This will create so many jobs and regenerate so many communities and aaaaaahhhhhhh
more info here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Green_Wall
it’s already happening, and already having positive effects. this is wonderful, why have i not heard of this before? i’m so happy!
Oh yes, acacia trees.
They fix nitrogen and improve soil quality.
And, to make things fun, the species they’re using practices “reverse leaf phenology.” The trees go dormant in the rainy season and then grow their leaves again in the dry season. This means you can plant crops under the trees, in that nitrogen-rich soil, and the trees don’t compete for light because they don’t have any leaves on.
And then in the dry season, you harvest the leaves and feed them to your cows.
Crops grown under acacia trees have better yield than those grown without them. Considerably better.
So, this isn’t just about stopping the advancement of the Sahara - it’s also about improving food security for the entire sub-Saharan belt and possibly reclaiming some of the desert as productive land.
Of course, before the “green revolution,” the farmers knew to plant acacia trees - it’s a traditional practice that they were convinced to abandon in favor of “more reliable” artificial fertilizers (that caused soil degradation, soil erosion, etc).
This is why you listen to the people who, you know, have lived with and on land for centuries.
THIS is an incredible display of human knowledge and ingenuity.
i miss when i was like 12 and it would be the night before a big field trip or something and i couldnt go to sleep because i was so excited. i miss being so into a book that i would stay up past my bed time reading it. everything seems so bland or something idk. i’m only 19 and everything is so tiring. i miss wanting to be awake
WTF I LIETERALLY THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT DOGS UNTIL NOW I AM 20 YEARS OLD
of course it was, why would he actually sing about real dogs and why they got out
No it isn’t. It’s actually talking about the men who predate upon women in clubs, calling them dogs, not ‘ugly women’. Just look at the lyrics:
And tell the fellas stop the name callin’
Yepee ah yo
Then them girls respond to the call
I hear a woman shout out
Who let the dogs out
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof
Or if that isn’t clear enough for you that it’s women quite clearly calling the men dogs then read this next bit:
Get back gruffy, mash scruffy
Get back you flea infested mongrel
Now I tell meh self dem man go get angry
Ah yepee ah yo
To hear them girls calling them canine
It’s saying that men who attack women for being ‘ugly’ or refuse to leave them alone are worse than stray mongrels! It plainly points out that women do not want or appreciate the attention and so taunt them with the verse of ‘who let the dogs out’ because they are both unable to control themselves and vile little creatures. Learn to do some fucking research.
It’s about how cat calling guys are awful.
Didn’t they need to slow down his moves on camera so they’d look better?
They slowed down the film so you could actually see him move & that it wouldn’t appear to be fake.
In 1962, Bruce lee landed 15 punches, a kick and knocked out his opponent in a fight that lasted only 11 seconds.
Bruce Lee kicked a man so hard that it broke a bystander’s arm when the man fell into him.
When asked who would win in a fight to the death, Chuck Norris once said “Bruce Lee of course, nobody can beat him.”
Bruce Lee could perform one-hand push-ups using only the thumb and index finger. Lee performed 50 reps of one-arm chin-ups.
Friendly reminder to check your breasts while you’re just sitting there scrolling the internet, then reblog so your followers do the same. Two people I know were just diagnosed within the same week.
these are the things that need spread. not fucking ribbons and the words “breast cancer awareness.” we know it exists. just knowing it exists isn’t going to help much.
for everyone who has breasts or is rather busty in the chest area (because men can get it too and not everyone who has breasts is a woman)